It Came From Outer Ed, Redux!
by High Planes Drifter
Summary: Final chapter in! Remember that episode where Ed comes up with the scam? Well, what if he weren't as empty-headed as we thought? What if he knew exactly what he was doing the whole time? That just can't be good for Eddy or Double-D, can it?
1. The Setup

**Author's Note:**  This is my first story, I hope you like it!  It's a retelling of the episode, "It Came From Outer Ed," (where Ed comes up with a scam of his own), but the premise is that Ed isn't _really_ as dumb as he acts.  I tried to get the lines as close to the actual episode as I could, but I'm going all on memory, folks, so please forgive any misquotes!

Finally, I'd like to point out that I don't think the characters are _really_ like I portray them here (i.e., I don't think Ed's all that bright, or that Eddy's quite that big a jerk), but I thought it'd be fun to give this a go.  Please let me know what you think – and thanks for reading this!

~High Planes Drifter~

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Ed sat in his room, utterly engrossed in his latest Evil Tim comic.  It was a thing of beauty.  The lifelike drawings, the clever allusions to classic superheroes, the intricate plotlines – he'd not read a graphic novel of this caliber since Sandman's run had ended.  It was so overwhelming, it was all he could do to peer at it through one half-cracked eye.

Suddenly, a pounding noise at his window tore him away.  He glanced up to see Eddy, and wondered what he wanted this time:  a grunt-worker to help him carry stuff, or a stooge to provide him with a little mean-spirited entertainment.

"Ed!  Help!  It's a monster!"  Ah, "stooge" it was, then.  Going up to the window, Ed tried to explain that he didn't have time right now, that he'd just gotten a new comic book and was hoping for a quiet afternoon alone, but Eddy wasn't listening as usual and dragged him outside.

Blinking in the bright morning sun, he had to admit he was impressed at Eddy's ability to round up the entire cul-de-sac despite his wholly unsavory reputation.  Eddy really did have amazing powers of persuasion.  If only he'd put them to better use than railroading his friends into carrying out all those farfetched scams, he'd have been able to _buy_ the candy store by now.

"Relax, everybody!"  Eddy hoisted Ed up by the shirt collar.  "Ed's here, we're all saved!"

"Yup, it's me all right!"  Ed put on his best "doofus" face and waved at the kids.

Eddy didn't waste any time.  "Look, Ed, here it comes!"  He pointed, and Ed followed his gaze…

He had to briefly hide his face in his comic to conceal an uncontrolled snort of laughter.  Looking as though he were being devoured by a rampaging shrub, Double-D was shakily hobbling towards them on a pair of makeshift stilts no doubt ready to snap at any second.  Ed marveled again at Eddy's powers of persuasion.

Did the other kids think he couldn't _hear _them laughing right behind his back?  Well, if a spectacle was what they wanted, he could play along.  He shook with horror and cried out, "It's an alien, guys!  It has come to dissect our internal organs and feed them to the minions of Hades!"  Ooh, that Hades bit was a nice touch.

Behind him, Jimmy seemed to be having trouble with his tricycle, or trouble with Eddy, or perhaps both, as he suddenly went rolling out towards the "alien".  "Help!  Runaway trike!!"  

Ed knew what was expected of him.  "I will save you, Jimmy!"  Casting about for something that would make an appropriate alien eradicator, his eyes lit on a good-sized elm tree.  He ripped it out of the ground and ran off after Jimmy.

"Oh my!  Look at the size of that northern Dutch elm!"  Ed could hear the panic in Double-D's voice from 20 feet away.  Perhaps it wasn't exactly fair that Edd, not Eddy, was about to get clobbered, but Ed supposed he could do with a little lesson in the dangers of being too much a follower.

"Take that, evil space alien!"  Ed ended Double-D's pitiful escape attempts by crashing the tree down on top of him.  He couldn't help but chuckle a little.  "The danger has passed!"

The kids were laughing openly now.  "Ed-boy has fallen harder than Nano's arches, yes?  No?"  Rolf's native idioms were always a delight to Ed – it was so refreshing to get a glimpse into a culture so very different from his own.  His mind drifted happily back to Rolf's wonderfully quaint "That's My Horse" dance, while around him everyone started wandering off, the entertainment apparently over.

Or maybe it wasn't.  "Jimmy!!"  Sarah's voice was tight with panic.  Ed looked around, and caught sight of a mangled tricycle handle sticking out from beneath the tree.  Uh-oh. 

"Oh no, the alien got Jimmy!"  Maybe if he played up the concerned lunkhead angle, Sarah wouldn't tell on him.  "Don't worry, Jimmy, I will save you!"  Thrusting one hand down beneath the tree, he grabbed hold of Jimmy and pulled him out.  He was looking rather worse for wear, so Ed tried a little first aid.  Locking his lips around Jimmy's, he tried not to notice the sickly-sweet scent of fluffernutter sandwiches as he administered mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  Jimmy unfurled like a party favor – the effect was so amusing, Ed couldn't resist doing it a few more times.

"Ed, stop!  Jimmy!  Speak to me!"  Sarah hovered worriedly about her friend.

"Some things are better left unsaid."  Jimmy was looking no better, despite Ed's careful ministrations, so Ed let him go.  Sarah helped him to his feet and together they staggered off.

Eddy came over, wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes.  "That was great!  I've gotta hand it to ya, Lumpy – you're a riot!"

Now that the excitement was over, Ed let himself feel the irritation that had been building up in him throughout this whole incident.  Not that he'd let it show – Eddy seemed to thrive on getting people's dander up, and to yell at him or otherwise give voice to his ire would only encourage him.  Still, there had to be a way…

As he was considering this, Edd finally came to and tried to drag himself out from under the tree.  "Is this what we've been reduced to?  Humiliating each other?"

Double-D would never make it out on his own.  Ed was about to go help him, but then he remembered he wasn't supposed to know that Edd had been the "alien" all along.  He put on his best "shocked" face.  "Oh no, Double-D, not you too!"  He dragged his battered friend out and prepared to try the party favor trick again.

"No first aid, Ed!!"  Edd struggled to free himself as Eddy looked on in hysterics.  There just _had_ to be a way of giving Eddy a dose of his own medicine…

"I feel funny, guys…"  Ed dropped Edd and thought for a moment.  Suddenly – "Boing!" – he had just the plan!  Perhaps a little abstract expressionism would help convey this.  Scooping up a chunk of dirt, he held it over his head.  His friends looked confused, so he added, "It's a light bulb!"

"Well, I'm stumped."  Eddy didn't seem keen on playing along.

"I believe Ed has an idea, Eddy."  Apparently his light bulb hint helped Edd out, at least.

"Boing!"  He repeated.  "For a scam!"  Just who would be scammed…well…

Eddy laughed.  "No way, Ed!  Stick to counting your teeth!  _I_ come up with the scams around here!"  Egotistical little gnat.  It looked like Ed would have to work at getting his way.  "Accidentally" flinging his dirt-bulb at Eddy, he plopped down on the ground and started sobbing.

"Boing, Eddy!  Boing!"

"What's his problem?"  Eddy seemed unmoved, but Ed was counting on Double-D's sensitive nature to get the best of him.

Inevitably, it worked.  "Aww, look at him, Eddy!"  Edd came over and gave him a hug.  Ed almost felt bad about using him like this, but he really asked for it sometimes.  "First you make him the butt of your jokes, and now you deny him freedom of concept!"  He patted Ed on the back.  "Ed could have come up with something truly unique!"

Ed knew that "unique" was just a polite way of saying "galactically bizarre," but he appreciated the support, nonetheless.  "It's a good one, Eddy!"  He buried his face in Edd's shoulder and redoubled his wailing.

With both his lackeys standing firm against him, it didn't take long for Eddy to cave in.  "All right, fine!  We'll do your stupid scam!"

Ed thought a little victory dance was in order.  He hopped up and ran circles around Double-D, singing out "My scam!  My scam!  My scam!"  Leaning in towards Edd, he added, "I learned that trick from Sarah."  Double-D seemed politely confused.

As he continued his celebration, he was unsurprised to notice Eddy glaring at Double-D.  "This is on YOUR head, you know!"  Edd always seemed to bear the brunt of Eddy's ill moods.  Ed considered again the wisdom of playing up the oblivious angle – he never gave Eddy the satisfaction of reacting negatively to the mistreatment, so Eddy naturally gravitated towards a more rewarding target.

Further gloating would probably only cause trouble for Double-D, so Ed ran off in the direction of the construction site.  It would be a perfect setting for a little afternoon of "uniqueness".


	2. The Big Plan

Ed dipped his paintbrush into the bucket and prepared to draw an X on the ground, but just then a mischievous thought struck him.  He glanced over at Double-D, who stood peering nervously at the huge rocks piled up nearby.  Should he?  It wasn't very nice…but, well, it was just too good to pass up.  He laughed to himself as he finished his painting.

Still chuckling, he headed over to Edd.  "I've marked the spot with an X, Double-D!"  He motioned towards the boulders.  "Let's move 'em out!"

"Ed, those rocks are quite large in mass and will require considerable force to…move…"  Ed just couldn't help it – every time Edd started talking, he lost track of what he said and simply counted the number of unnecessarily large words he managed to slip in.  He needed to be less conspicuous about it, though – Edd trailed off as he noticed his vacant look.  Hmm, better say something.

"Right over on the X, Double-D!"  He picked up a rock and thrust it upon Edd, who took it, of course, despite the fact that it must weigh twice as much as he did.  Watching him struggle beneath its weight, Ed felt a little twinge of guilt.  

Was it starvation for attention or just plain insecurity that left Double-D so fearful to disobey anyone who cared to tell him what to do?  Probably both – Edd clung to rules and orders like a lifeline, a reassuring blanket that shielded his fragile ego from the countless forces set against it.  Unfortunately for him, it really made him a natural target.

Ah well, at least Double-D could always count on his friends to pay him plenty of attention, albeit not always of the desirable sort.  And speaking of friends…Ed ran over to the port-a-potty to check on Eddy.  "Ready or not, here I come!"

"No way, Ed!"  Eddy didn't sound too happy about his new duds.  Ed couldn't wait all day, though, so he tore away the port-a-potty walls.  

Even though he'd known what to expect, it was all he could do not to fall down in hysterics.  Part clown, part pro-wrestler, all schmuck, Eddy's costume went a long way towards making up for all the ridiculous getups he'd subjected Ed to in the past.

"Why am I dressed like this?"  Eddy glared at him, clearly not sharing his amusement.

"It's all part of the _Big Plan_!"  Ed barely got that last bit out without dissolving into laughter.  He looked away as a grin spread unstoppably across his face.  To keep Eddy from noticing, he seized a nearby cement mixer and handed it to him.  "Here Eddy, paint this like an Aztec temple!"  Maybe it was the skull drawn on Eddy's face that had made him think of ancient tribes.

"Q?"  Over in the distance, Edd was boggling in confusion.  Ooh, Double-D just _had to come see Eddy!   Ed rushed over to bring him back, but before he could say anything, Edd asked, "Ed, where's the X?"_

He just couldn't resist.  "A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G!"  He suppressed a giggle and tried to look concerned.  "Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?"

"But I don't understand!  You said X marks the spot!"  Gee, Double-D must really be distracted to be speaking so clearly for once.  He could at least set the boulder down to discuss matters, but of course he didn't.  Ed was almost tempted to take it from him…nah.  He could use a little exercise.

Edd really did look to be on the verge of collapse, though.  No sense in completely wearing him out so soon.  "Boing!  LUNCH BREAK!!"  Ed ran over to a makeshift table.  When his friends had joined him (he was somewhat relieved to see that Double-D did put down the rock this time), he hauled out the sandwiches he'd brought: a lovely gravy-and-sardine one for himself, and for his friends, two foul-smelling monstrosities he'd finally evicted from beneath his bed that morning.  He didn't expect them to be eaten, but figured it'd be fun to see his friends' reaction.

As he chomped down on his sandwich, Ed was somewhat aghast to see Eddy take a bite of his own.  He noticed Edd, too, was steeling himself to try a nibble.  Even Ed had his limits when it came to disgusting sights.  "BOING!"  He knocked the sandwiches away before he lost his own lunch.  He had a better use for those, anyway.

"Back to work!"  He picked up Edd's boulder and shoved it back into his hands.  Giving him a little push, he reminded him, "Right over on the X!"  Eyes bulging and legs shaking, Edd staggered away, gasping out protests in a voice even squeakier than normal.  Ed had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.  He hated to admit it, but he could see why Eddy liked to mess with him so much – his reactions were just so darned funny.  Loveable squirt.

Eddy stood glaring at him, even the spectacle of Double-D and the boulder failing to improve his spirits.  Ed needed to do something fast or he'd lose him.  "Come on, Eddy, we have to find rotten spaghetti noodles!"  He was still unable to get the concept of spoiled food out of his head after watching his friends with those sandwiches.  

Eddy crossed his arms and glowered at him, clearly intent on staying put.  Well, how many times had he hauled Ed off against his will?  Turnabout was only fair play.  Picking Eddy up with his teeth, Ed carted him off towards the cul-de-sac in search of the other kids.

It took a while to find everyone, throughout which time Eddy kept up a ceaseless stream of grousing.  Ed was about ready to give up in exasperation when he finally heard signs of life from over by the lane.  He'd better find out who was there before he made his move, though.  Ripping off a good-sized chunk of fence, he held it before himself as camouflage as he and Eddy approached.

Hmm, this could be a problem:  all the kids were there, including Nazz.  If Eddy spotted her he'd surely run off before she caught sight of him in that outfit.  Ed had to come up with a way to keep him there – lucky thing he knew the magic word.

"Our suckers await," he whispered, peering over the top of his fence.

"Suckers?"  Yep, that did it.  "I thought we'd never get to this part!  So how do we fleece 'em, Ed?"

Gee, good question!  "Uh…"  What _was_ the plan?  Better take a few moments to think it over.  "We need Double-D for this part!"  That oughta buy him time to come up with something, and besides, he really should check in to be sure those rocks hadn't gotten the best of Double-D by now, anyway.

He galloped off, but soon slowed in thought.  There was always a chance the other kids would react violently to these little shenanigans, and what with all the rock-carrying, Double-D was probably in even worse shape than usual for running away.  Fun was fun, but he didn't want his friends getting hurt.

He ran back to his house and dug out the biggest, most well-padded coat he could find.  It wasn't much, but at least it'd offer a little protection.  As he passed the kitchen he could smell a fresh batch of pancakes his mom must've just whipped up.  The aroma was heavenly…well, what the heck, his friends were probably famished by now.

His newfound goodies in tow, he continued on to the construction site.  There he found Edd still trudging shakily along, muttering to himself and lugging that rock.  Ed shook his head.  Knocking the rock from Double-D, he wrapped the coat around his shoulders and dragged him off to the lane.  On the way back he noticed an old discarded fishbowl leaning against one of the half-built houses – hmm, a helmet probably wouldn't hurt.  He scooped it up and plonked it down over Edd's head.

"Okay, now Double-D, it is very important that you give Eddy these pancakes!"  They could at least enjoy a little real food before continuing.

"V-very well, Ed."  Edd's voice sounded sorta spaceman-y from within that fishbowl, it was pretty neat!  Ed would have to try that himself sometime.  "Here you are, Eddy."

Eddy took the pancakes with an air of disgust.  "Pancakes give me gas."  Geez, did he _ever_ stop complaining?  Ed had initially planned only to embarrass him, but…well…maybe a little 'discomfort' was in order, after all.

"Now what, Ed?"  Double-D was still looking a little banged up from the earlier elm tree incident – he'd taken more than enough for one day.  Better get him out of there before things got ugly.

"X marks the spot, Double-D!"  He pointed Edd in the direction of the construction site.  "Off you go!"

"There is no X, Ed!"  Still protesting, Edd nonetheless headed dutifully back towards the rocks and missing X's.  Ed hoped he'd at least take that fishbowl off before he suffocated.

Now back to Eddy.  It shouldn't be tough to turn the other kids against him, but first he'd need to get their attention.  Putting on a suitably "Ed" disguise (he only wished he could see himself, he bet he made a great table), he told Eddy to wait for his signal, then "snuck" over.

"Ed!"  His sister's shrill voice startled him into standing up, sending his mom's good teapot crashing to the ground.  "Was that mom's teapot?"

Oh man, he was grounded for sure!  Ed looked away and mumbled, "Maybe…"  

"Ed, you're scaring me."

The feeling was certainly mutual!  Well, at least she didn't seem ready to go tell on him quite yet.  Now, if he could only figure out a good way to get everyone riled up…Just then he spotted Jimmy clutching a new stuffed bunny.  Bingo.

He grabbed the bunny and ran for it.  "Now, Eddy, now!"  That oughta ensure everyone knew Eddy was there, if they didn't already.

Confused and irritable, Eddy watched him run past.  He didn't even try to escape until it was too late.  Glancing over his shoulder, Ed saw the kids close in on Eddy – even Kevin joined in, surely more for the excuse to rough Eddy up than out of any concern for Jimmy.  Well, whatever worked!

Eddy didn't sound nearly so smug now, as his panicked yells rose up from the melee.  Ed hoped he wouldn't get hurt _too_ badly.  Well, Eddy was pretty resilient when it came right down to it.  He'd surely be fine, more or less.

Either way, though, Ed couldn't wait around to watch – he still had the best part of the day to prepare for!  Trusting Eddy to get himself out and unwittingly lead the kids back to the construction site, Ed headed there himself to get ready for the grand finale.


	3. The Grand Finale

Returning to the construction site, Ed was unsurprised to find that Edd had somehow picked his boulder back up and was still searching for that elusive X.  It was amazing, really, that anyone could be so academically brilliant and yet so single-mindedly obedient at times.  He shrugged, supposing he wouldn't be doing much better himself if he'd been raised mainly through sticky notes – did Double-D _ever_ see his parents?  It wasn't really something you wanted to ask about.

Well, it was clear that Double-D wasn't going to give up on his own – at least, not until he'd burst some major internal organ.  Better let him off the hook.  "Nice job, Double-D, it looks just like a Q!"

"Excuse me?"  The look on Double-D's face was priceless; Ed wished he'd thought to bring a camera.  "Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought!  Your plans are irrational, muddled, and inconsequential!"

He felt his eyes glaze over as Double-D ranted.  Well, at least he seemed to be back to his old excessively-wordy self!  Ed reached into his pocket and pulled out a cookie, munching absently as he tried to pay attention.

Edd trailed off.  "Is that a doggie treat?"

Snapping out of his daze, he looked down at the object in his hand.  Egads, it _was_ a doggie treat!  Oh, _man_!  Well, he hoped the neighbors' dog had enjoyed the oatmeal cookie he must've tossed to him that morning.  Better not let Double-D see his distress, though, lest he take it as a cue to launch into the old 'dangers of over-taxing your digestive tract' lecture.  Worse yet, he might try to give him a thorough medical workup – you could never fully trust a kid who kept surgical supplies in his room, no matter how good a friend he was.  

Trying his best to keep from grimacing, Ed forced himself to swallow.  To take his mind off the lingering beefy aftertaste, he'd definitely need a little more entertainment.  "What's the rock for, Double-D?"

It was almost worth eating that dog biscuit, just to see Double-D so completely dumbfounded.  The rock fell from his nerveless fingers – right onto his foot, and he yelped in pain.

And speaking of pains…just then Eddy staggered back to rejoin them.  "My head!"  

Ed squinted at Eddy.  He looked a little woozy; did the kids really hurt him _that_ badly?  Concerned, Ed drew closer to check him over – but as soon as he came within reach, Eddy grabbed him.  "Why'd you take the rabbit?"  Ed gasped for air as Eddy's hands clenched around his throat.  Huh, guess Eddy was okay, after all!  "Give back Jimmy's Mr. Yum-Yum!"

"Mr. Yum-Yum?"  His foot still pinned beneath the rock, Double-D looked utterly confused.  

Ed finally managed to free himself from Eddy's rough handling, saved once more by his superior strength.  Deprived of his primary target, Eddy whirled and grabbed the hapless Double-D instead.  "You _know_ I'm going to get you for this," he hissed.  Edd cringed, clearly in no position to appreciate the humor of the situation – how often was one threatened by an angry clown?

Suddenly, the other kids came unwittingly to Edd's rescue.  Sarah was in the lead.  "Hey!  Give Jimmy back his bunny!"

Jimmy clung to Sarah and whimpered.  "I'm just a shell of a man without Mr. Yum-Yum!"  Geeze, what did Sarah _see_ in him, anyway?

The rest of the kids closed in on Eddy and Double-D.  "Let's tickle them till they wet their pants!"  Jonny grinned at his own suggestion.

For a brief moment, Ed considered letting the kids carry out their threat, but then he realized that he, too, would likely be subjected to whatever treatment they decided to mete out.  Well, it was probably time for the grand finale, anyway.  

As Double-D tried desperately to pacify the angry mob, Ed climbed to the top of a nearby dirt-mound.  Striking a dramatic pose, he cried out, "Fools!  Evil Tim has beckoned you all, for you all will pay with your _brains_!"

"Brains?!"  Eddy's irate disappointment was predictable.  "What're we gonna do with _brains_?"  Ed grinned to himself as he caught Double-D shooting Eddy a distinctly condescending look.

Well, everyone was staring at him now; time for the fun to begin!  Ed brought Jimmy's stuffed rabbit up to his face and sunk his teeth in.  Ripping and pulling, he yanked the stuffing from poor Mr. Yum-Yum.  The flying bits of cotton fluff provided him the perfect cover for his next action:  face still buried in bunny "guts," he surreptitiously slipped his free hand into his pocket and pulled out the remnants of the two rotten sandwiches from earlier that day.  The cross-breeze from atop the dirt-mound was sure to carry their stench long and far.

"Mr. Yum-Yum!!"  Ed glanced up in time to watch Jimmy collapse in a dead faint.

Their differences forgotten, Eddy and Double-D stood side-by-side, as baffled as everyone else.  "What's the heck's he doing?" Eddy asked.

"Embarrassing me to no end," Double-D replied.  You'd really think he'd have a much higher tolerance for embarrassment by now.  Ed had to stick his face back down in Mr. Yum-Yum as he felt another giggle coming on.

Behind his friends, the rest of the cul-de-sac watched in mystified horror.  Rolf spoke up first.  "Ed-boy has bitten the belly of a stuffed hand-cloth!  Quickly!  We must seek encouragement in the bosom of Bobo!"  He reached into his pocket and pulled out…a giant_ clam?_  Now it was Ed's turn to stop and stare in bafflement. 

Ed didn't seem to be the only one unsettled by this.  "If you think I'm getting in that thing – " Nazz started, but Rolf was in no mood for argument.

"Your wait will doom us all!"  Grabbing a startled Nazz, he shoved her along with the rest of the kids into the clam, then jumped in himself.  Ed briefly tried to imagine an entire country full of Rolfs, but the thought was just too much to handle, even for someone who'd just "bitten the belly of a stuffed hand-cloth."

"Listen to it gurgle, Plank!"  Well, Jonny seemed happy, at any rate.  

Rolf wasted no more time.  Slamming down the top of the clam so that only his legs stuck out, he, the clam, and the rest of the kids made a hasty, fishy exit.

Eddy and Double-D watched the clam rush off, dumbstruck.  Finally, Double-D asked, "Was that a giant clam?"

His voice seemed to snap Eddy out of his spell.  "Nice scam, they took off!"  He glared up at Ed, fists clenched.  "So where's the cash?"  The phrase "one-track mind" was clearly coined with Eddy in mind.

"Cash?"  From his vantage point on top of the dirt-mound, Ed could see finally see a few dark specks forming on the horizon.  Those sandwiches must be doing their job – now, if he could just keep Eddy from stomping off too soon!  

"AGH!!"  Good, Eddy was clearly too mad to go anywhere for the moment.  He glared up at Ed, but Ed just smiled blankly back (it hadn't been easy to master the art of blinking his eyes out of synch with one another, but he felt it really added to the whole "vacant" look).  Eddy turned on Double-D once more.  "It's YOUR fault!"  His voice was so loud, Ed could feel it vibrate the air from all the way on top of the dirt-mound – poor Double-D was nearly knocked to the ground.  "WHY did you have to encourage him?!!"

Better speak up before Eddy decided to do more than yell.  He still needed just a _little_ more time, though…hmm…Suddenly, he had it.  "Aw shucks, my curse didn't work!  I'm sorry guys, I did everything it said in the comic book!"

He _knew_ he could count on Double-D.  "Ed, curses are nothing more than myth and superstition!"  Double-D could _never_ resist the opportunity to pontificate on the folly of believing in the supernatural; Ed was only surprised he didn't have anything to say about comic books, too.  "They're based only on one's own personal fears!"  Well, of course – that was _exactly_ what Ed was counting on.

Eddy glared at Edd as he spoke, fists clenched and white-knuckled.  Both of them were distracted, though, when a large crow swooped down and landed on Double-D's head.  Edd had clearly not recovered from lugging that rock around all morning, as even that small extra weight was enough to send him to the ground.

Ed beamed as more and more crows were lured in by the carrion-smell of the rotten sandwiches.  Now _this_ was a _scam_!

"Strange, the crows' migration pattern is nowhere near this location."  Was it his imagination, or did Double-D actually sound a bit spooked?  "It's as though they were _summoned_ to gather here…"  Gee, how quickly the scientific mindset can be abandoned in the face of unexplained phenomena!

Eddy cowered back as the crows flew in on all sides.  "Man, I _hate_ birds!"  

Now, _that_ was an understatement; Eddy "hated" birds in the same way that Double-D "hated" dodge-ball.  Even now their usually fearless leader was starting to shake and twitch – he'd be curled up in a catatonic, whimpering ball on the ground in no time.  Ohh, phobias could be such _wonderful_ things.

Ed did a happy little dance of victory.  "Evil Tim has beckoned them!"  Hey, Evil Tim, Irritated Ed…same difference, right?  As the birds swarmed in around him and his vision disappeared in a mass of flapping black wings, he could hear Eddy shrieking in panic.  Ed grinned.  There was really no such thing as "teaching Eddy a lesson," but at least Ed had gotten the upper hand for once.  All in all, it had been a _great_ afternoon.


End file.
